Nurture Yourself
In the garden, things grow best when they’re tended with care, and the same goes for you.
Here are two simple exercises that will help you pause, reflect, and recognize the good you’ve already done. Whether it’s a big milestone or a small daily win, acknowledging your progress builds self-trust and joy.
It’s a chance to look back, smile big, and give yourself some well-earned credit.
Why is this so important?
Because most of us remember our mistakes way more than our wins. That’s just how the brain works—it holds onto emotionally charged moments, especially the tough ones. But that means we often overlook just how many successes we’ve had.
Here’s the truth: You’ve had plenty of victories—big and small.
The problem? We tend to set the bar too high for what counts as a real “success.”
- Made banana bread for the first time?
- Grew potatoes in a container?
- Helped a neighbor weed their garden?
- Yes. Yes. Yes. Those all count.
Most people can rattle off ten things they did wrong last week. But ask them to name ten things they did right? Oops.
That’s why it’s so important to acknowledge and celebrate your wins. Not just for fun, but because it builds self-esteem.
Research shows that when you reflect on your past successes, you become more confident facing new challenges. You trust yourself. Even if something doesn’t go as planned, it doesn’t knock you down as hard because you’ve seen what you can do.
So let’s change the narrative.
Let’s look at two simple, but powerful ways to build and maintain high levels of self-confidence and self-esteem:
The Power of Nine and The Mirror Exercise
The Power of Nine: Nine moments that shaped your journey.
Grab a piece of paper and a pencil... we're going to put this into action.
I’m going to walk you through a simple way to take inventory of your major successes. Don’t worry—these don’t have to be dramatic or world-changing. What matters is that they meant something to you.
Start by dividing your life into three equal time periods.
So if you’re 60 years old, your three time periods might be:
- Birth to age 20
- Age 21 to 40
- Age 41 to 60
Then, list three meaningful accomplishments from each period. You might be surprised by what comes up—some you may not have thought about in years.
To help you get started, here are nine of mine:
First Third: Birth to Age 20
- Voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in junior high
- Swam with my horse, bareback, in the ocean
- Cooked a full-course meal for Dan Evans, the governor of Washington State
Second Third: Age 21–40
- Interviewed by Reader’s Digest about growing seedlings
- Earned my Merchant Mariner’s License for “3rd Mate Unlimited Oceans”
- Made my first successful compost pile
Final Third: Age 41–60
- Co-authored Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, a New York Times bestseller
- Started the “Veggies at Work” program
- Grew and harvested blackberries in my hoophouse
Completing this list is like giving yourself a gift—it’s a powerful reminder of how far you’ve come.
If you want to take it one step further, try making a list of 100 achievements or positive things you’ve done. Most people find the first 20 or 30 come easily. After that, it might feel a bit harder, but stay with it.
Once you shift your focus to what you’ve accomplished, more memories will surface, like soft summer breezes, gentle and steady.
To help reinforce your achievements, surround yourself with visual reminders. Hang up certificates, photos, fair ribbons, posters, or printed affirmations—anything that confirms your efforts and goodness. Let these touchstones remind you of what you’re capable of.
The Mirror Exercise
I first heard about the Mirror Exercise from Jack Canfield in his book The Success Principles.
Just like it’s important to acknowledge your big accomplishments, it’s just as important to recognize your small, daily wins.
The Mirror Exercise is based on a simple idea: We all need encouragement, but the most powerful kind is the encouragement we give ourselves.
This practice gives your inner self, what some call the “inner child,” the positive reinforcement it needs to grow, heal, and reach for new goals. It helps rewire negative beliefs around praise, success, and self-worth. Over time, it puts you in a more confident, can-do frame of mind.
Try this exercise every night for at least three months. Here’s how it works:
How to Do the Mirror Exercise
- Before bed, stand in front of a mirror.
- Look into your own eyes for a few seconds—really connect.
- Address yourself by name, and out loud, begin appreciating what you did well today.
This could include:
- Achievements—big or small—whether personal, financial, creative, or spiritual
- Healthy choices you followed through on (like walking, meditating, prayer, or sticking to a plan)
- Temptations you resisted (like skipping dessert, watching less TV, or turning down a glass of wine)
Keep eye contact with yourself. When you’ve finished your list, end by saying: “I love you.”
It may feel awkward at first. That’s normal. But stick with it. The more you practice, the more natural—and powerful—it becomes.
Your journey is full of wins—some loud, some quiet.
Honor them. Revisit them. And let them remind you: You’re capable of far more than you think.
With special thanks to Jack Canfield for the inspiration.
Marion Owen
If you’ve ever felt frustrated with gardening—I’ve been there. When I started over 40 years ago, I was full of self-doubt. But with time (and plenty of compost), I found my way. I even co-authored the New York Times bestseller Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul—and now I help gardeners around the world grow with more confidence. Whether you’re just starting out or starting over, I’m here to help. Every gardener has a dream. And since you’re here, I believe you have one, too. Welcome.
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